Well today was a pretty normal day except I have gotten nothing done and I feel horrible... Getting a bit depressed and I can't figure out whats up with me now. Maybe its just that time of month who knows...
Guess I will skip over knitting for this post and talk about something else.
Here is as good as anywhere to explain why I lost so much weight and also a little about why it seems to have cost so much.. It started in August of 2002. I was a wife and mother with 2 small kids. My daughter was 8 and my sone was 3. I was the half owner in a Moving Company that my hubby and I had started in 1991. I ran the company and also made handmade soaps and designed websites. Plus was just learning to knit and crochet. I had gotten to where I satyed on the computer more and more and gained so much weight that I knew I had to do something. So I started in therapy. It worked and made me feel better once I was on Paxil. But then I started walking my daughter to school and then I would go to the park and walk and walk. Finally I figured out I was walking up to 6 miles a day! I started noticing that my weight was dropping and other changes were happening too but we wont go there right now. I started to feel alive all over again. But the probelm was my hubby decided he would stay gone more and more. I had heard various things and knew him to be doing some illegal activities and also cheating on me. He was alsways mentally abusive in ways I can't even describe. But it didn't matter I was happy with my kids, etc.
Then in December 2002 I moved out. Took the kids and left. I moved in with my mom and left most of my stuff. I thought someday we would get back together maybe or we would get divorced and I would get my things later. Boy was I wrong!
In February 2003 my mom was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma a form of bone cancer. Well she had been helping me with the kids, etc. And this was just not a good thing... And then I decided then and there I was too young to put up with crap and told the hubby finally divorce! This was not good news to him... But I held on.
Then it happened I met another man. Secretly seeing him for a little over a month, I decided one night to take the kids and let them meet his family. Well this was not a good idea. That night when I was leaving the house a car rolled up beside me and my hubby and his father and his fathers mistress took my kids out of my car by gunpoint. I could not believe this was happening!!!
Then the police wouldn't do anything since I had not filed for divorce and the father was there. The next day they moved everything from my house. This was in April 2003. In May 2003 my car was stolen but since it was just in my hubbys name I didnt get anything even thought everything I had left was in it. I had 3 pmts left on it.
I didn't see my kids until November. I was told I had to undergo drug tests because he said there was no way a woman could lose that much weight without drugs. I passed with flying colors. I don't nor ever will do drugs. I dont even drink any longer.
Anyhoo long story short: Lost everything, kids, car, house, my clothes and all my crafting and business stuff. I have gotten nothing. At the moment I haven't seen my kids for over 2 months because he knows I dont have the money for a lawyer to fight him for contempt. He still has all my stuff. He got everything that I ever had in my life. I was with this man since I was 17. Maybe all this is the reason I am so depressed lately. I even tried to hurt myself recently.. Actually I got drunk and drove and was not good at it and got a DUI. Ever since then I can't even think of drinking without almost throwing up. I learned some lessons through all this and they will follow me thru the rest of my days.
So the moral to my story is You really do learn from lifes mistakes. I think I have to pull myself back up and lost this excess weight and get back into life. That is one of the reasons I have been posting so much lately. I need companionship of other people and I have never been able to have friends before. I want to thank you guys for reading this and being so supportive of me!!!